Be Careful What You Wish For
by Indi-101
Summary: I wish you could know what I always feel!” Seras charged towards Alucard... She wishes for something that will change Alucard in quite a different way. Like they say, be careful what you wish for.
1. Chapter 1

**Be Careful What You Wish For**

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing. I wish I did...

Summary: Alucard constantly annoys Seras about the fact of her trying to keep a grip of her humanity. Seras, on the other hand, is starting to be fed up with her Master. She secretly wishes he could feel what she felt about her humanity, and well... everything else! Never wish for anything you might regret later on, since it is possible that the wish could come true.

Chapter One- Boredom

The No-Life-King tilted on the back legs of the throne like a chair. His feet were on the table, messing up all the neat piles of paper that were on it. He stared lazily up at the light that was flickering on and off. The rain pounded on the windows behind him and a crack of thunder was heard every now and then. Sitting there, waiting for something to happen, like the phone to ring, calling the agency out about a FREAK outbreak, or Anderson calling, threatening Hellsing even more, or anyone that Alucard could have fun with playing with their minds. The phone hadn't rung since Integra left the office and nothing happened. Alucard sat in the chair, bored out of his mind.

Alucard went to Integra's office seeking some more excitement. The dungeon was very boring and the only entertainment to him was now asleep in her coffin. At least he had fun training Victoria and making fun of her humanity. She was so easy to bother, unlike Walter and Integra. For now, Alucard was going to bother Integra till the sleeping beauty got up. He did find a twisted joy in annoying his master, or playing with her mind.

"Alucard, why are you sitting in my chair?" Integra closed the door behind her as she approached him. He gave her a huge grin.

"Is this your chair? I'm so sorry…" Alucard said in a sarcastic voice.

"I have no time for your little jokes. I have to get a speech prepared for the next meeting. Can you exit my office and leave me in peace."

"_Damnit! I'm busy! There's no time to fool around. I wish he'd get up and leave! I have work to do!_" Integra thought to herself.

Alucard stood up from the chair and gave Integra a bigger grin, "Master, you should stop worrying about work so much and more about yourself. I imagine even you must lust for something... a bit more peaceful. I'm always here to fill you desires." Alucard was enjoying himself as he saw Interga's confused face. It soon went back to her stern face.

"Alucard, get out. I have no time to deal with you." She pointed to the door.

Alucard tilted his hat to his master, "as you wish," he went through the floor.

"_Was that vampire hitting on me_?" Integra shook the thought from her head. She sat down in her chair and grabbed a cigar. She lit it and let the heavy smoke travel into her lungs. She got back to her mountains of paper work.

* * *

Walter, the Hellsing butler was stocking the 'fridge' with new blood. Alucard couldn't help but try to pester Walter into giving him a little snack. 

"Lord Alucard, it's feeding time. There is no need to bother me into giving you a snack, but since you're here…" Walter handed the vampire two pails of ice, each containing a pack of medical blood. "Take this pail down to Miss Seras and the other is yours."

"What do you think I am? A butler!" Alucard snapped at the butler.

"I know that you like having your share of blood. It would be a crying shame if your blood supply was cut off," the butler gave the No-Life-King a grin and walked off to his other duties he had to attend.

* * *

Alucard made his way to the dungeons and he knocked on Victoria's door. No answer... He could have some fun if she was still asleep. He quietly slipped through the walls with both pails. He put them both on the table and got a knife from his pocket. Alucard started to cut away at his own neck making his head fall into his hands. Controlling his body he opened the coffin and allowed his head to squeeze through. He closed it gently, and waited beside Victoria. She was peacefully sleeping, unaware that the head of her master was staring at her. 

"Police girl.. Get up." Alucard said quietly with a wide smirk on his face. She slowly opened her eyes, soon to be in full terror. She gave a loud, high pitched scream and moved away from the head.

"Master! Even though I'm undead, you shouldn't scare me like that!" Seras pushed the button that made the coffin's lid go up. She sat up slowly and tried to hide the huge blush on her face.

Alucard was laughing, as his head was placed back on its body, "undead should never be scared. A true vampire is never scared… Even in the face of danger! You're as easily scared as a little school girl." With that, Victoria stood up and faced her master.

"I'm not that easily scared master, but it _is _natural for humans to be scared! It doesn't happen everyday that a person wakes up with a head beside them! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Alucard's grin got wider, "it's hard for me to give you a heart attack… You are already dead, as I already told you five times this week. It's natural for humans to be scared because they're lesser beings. Vampires like us are superior, and shouldn't get scared. Besides, I've woken up to a headless and limbless body. There's nothing new to see a head beside you. Learn to be less scared, police girl."

"Just don't scare me like that again Master..." Seras sat at the small table.

"You should have seen your face, police girl! It was priceless… I've never seen someone that scared in my long life time!"

Seras was zoning out her master's voice. She stared at the blood packet in her hands. She tore the top and drained the contents into a nice soup bowl. She grabbed her spoon and closed her eyes as she dipped it in the red liquid. Victoria licked the spoon, but put back in the bowl. "I can't do it! It's just so wrong to drink blood!"

Alucard was sitting across from Victoria, with the medical bag straw in his mouth. His orange glasses were on the tip of his nose, exposing his surprised eyes. He was just staring at her, making her blushing slightly. "Who eats blood like a soup! Are you sure you aren't Canadian! I heard from someone over there that they drink blood as a soup! I never saw anyone do that before! I swear sometimes you aren't my fledgling!" Alucard shook his head.

"There's nothing wrong with drinking blood as if it were a soup!" Seras protested in her defence.

"As there's nothing wrong with ignoring your hunger. You are becoming weaker each day by not having your blood. What do I have to do to make you drink human blood? I'm just curious, but then perhaps we can get to the fun part of training. You're still too much of a human to drink blood. Now I even regret making you a vampire..." Alucard got up and was about to leave the room, until a sound reached his ears and he turned around. Victoria was gulping down spoonfuls of blood at time. Blood was dripping from the corners of her mouth as she ate.

She stopped for a second, "Master, I'm not a human anymore… I'm a vampire!" It took all what Seras had to let that sentence come out. She continued to eat.

"That's great! Because I was going to start calling you 'Kitten' if you didn't start," He was just about to leave then…

Seras asked him, "do you really regret turning me into a vampire?" She got up from her chair and moved towards Alucard.

"Of course not, you're my biggest challenge ever! Training a human like you is... interesting. You missed some blood on your face. Here, let me get it for you."

Alucard took his white glove off and ran his finger on her chin, catching the blood. He licked the blood off his finger and put the glove back on, "blood is never meant to be wasted, remember that," he tipped his hat and walked through the wall. Seras was now red from head to toe.

Victoria got out her uniform and was about to change. Something felt out of place, but she just ignored it. A strange vision of her undressing came to her mind. She shook the thought out of her head and got behind the screen. As she was in the process of changing, she heard a creak. Peeking through one of the small holes in the screen, she saw Alucard sitting on a chair. He was just sitting there casually. Seras blushed madly as she quickly put on her top and got around the corner.

"MASTER! What are you doing here! Haven't you ever heard of privacy!"

"Yes, I have and it's a silly human term. By now you must realize I've seen many things in this mansion. Some are more interesting than others," Alucard smirked.

Seras' eye was twitching, "sometimes I just wish you knew something called humanity, or what I go through everyday with you harassing me about it! I wish you could know what I always feel!" Seras charged towards Alucard and slapped him, breaking his glasses, and she stomped out of the room.

Alucard whistled, "someone has a temper."

The No-Life-King started to laugh, "me know about humanity? I lost mine over four hundred years ago!"

Alucard remained in the chair, just thinking, until he heard a knock. Walter walked into the room, "Lord Alucard, may I have a word with you?"

Alucard smirked at him, "what is it, Walter?"

Walter stood in front of Alucard, "it has to do with young Miss Victoria. She was awfully upset when she came upstairs for a bath. May I asked what you did this time?"

"I just told her that I was keeping an eye on her… Nothing other than the usual. I told her to let go of her humanity, you know."

"Alucard, you have to realize she's very sensitive about privacy and her humanity… For an old vampire you sure don't know that much about women, and here's your snack. I know I can't come down here without a pack of blood." Walter tossed the medical blood to Alucard, who caught it. He left and closed the door behind him.

Alucard sipped the blood, "It tastes a bit odd... This has to be spoiled blood or something! It has never tasted this bad!" Alucard drank every last drop. "That was the worst blood ever..."

Outside the hallway Seras finished a pack of medical blood. Walter came by and got the empty bag. "Enjoy your evening snack Miss Victoria?"

"Yes I did... Revenge tastes so sweet… I hope my master doesn't mind tomato juice instead of his normal blood," the police girl laughed as she walked towards her chamber. Victoria wiped some spilt blood from her chin, and the horrible thought came to her mind. She drank blood! Gripping her stomach she ran to the nearest facilities.

Alucard had the last laugh over Seras 'revenge' attempt. She may have tampered with his blood but she was vomiting a good part of the night.

"Pathetic humanity," Alucard murmured to himself before falling asleep for the day.

Alucard was awakened that evening by heavy foot steps on the stone stair way, hearing the huge metal door close. That only meant Walter just dropped off his first bag of blood for the evening. Alucard lifted the coffin door, to him it felt a bit heavier than before. He just shrugged his shoulders and got up from the coffin. The first step he took, it felt like gravity was throwing him forward. Before he'd enjoy his blood he wanted to see if his fledgling would drink hers tonight maybe. Then again, there were chances that she wouldn't, but he'd have a fun time teasing her as usual. Alucard made his way up the stairs and was ready to phase through the door.

Bang!

Alucard came into contact with the heavy door. The vampire was confused to why he didn't phase through the door and why he was over whelmed with pain. 'Must be the tomato juice, has to be a side effect,' he thought to himself, only until he looked down... Then his question was answered.

* * *

Hoped you enjoyed it.. Everything will be explained next chapter. Until then enjoy chapter one of my first Hellsing Fic :) 


	2. Chapter 2

The question, what happened to Alucard? Will be answered this chapter.** Thank you** for the reviews! Here's chapter two, Nightmare to Reality!

* * *

Chapter Two- Nightmare to Reality!

_Meanwhile in Seras Victoria's room..._

Seras tossed and turned as she 'slept' in her cozy coffin. Beads of sweat ran down her forehead and she would give off an odd sound when her head turned.

"Master!" She squeaked.

_The Police girl ran through a thick leafy jungle. It was quiet, a little too quiet, to be a real jungle. As Seras explored it, she saw no animals. Not even the water was running in the river, it was just still. To her, this dream felt very real. She realized it when she ran into a tree by mistake. She felt the pain surge through her body, it wasn't much but it was still pain_.

_"Master! Sir Integra! Walter!" Victoria called out, no one returned her call. The ex-police girl kept going forward until she saw a small blue light. She picked up her pace and stopped a few feet from the glow. A small woman stood before the young vampire. She wore the funniest hat and clothes Victoria had ever seen. She hovered around The Police Girl with her fairy-like wings._

_"Don't worry, Child of the Night, about the realistic dream. You're just in my realm because I have to tell you about something," the pixie zoomed around the vampire's head._

_"What do you want from me?" Seras asked._

_"Nothing, I just want to tell you that your wish is granted," the small pixie giggled, "you wished for the one called 'Alucard' to feel humanity. I found no better way than to turn him into one." _

_"Master is a human? Why on Earth would you turn him into one!"_

_"Just as you wished. I felt pity for you. This will be a good lesson for him and you. If you're wondering who I am… I'm a wish granting Pixie. I just grant simple wishes among people if it will give them a good lesson. I've simply been watching you, and I thought your wish should be granted. In one month's time, your Master should turn back to his normal vampire self, so enjoy this time."_

_"What lesson should **I** learn from all this!" Seras was in a bit of a panic at this point. This small pixie was telling her that her Master was now a human, just the one wish the young vampire said in her anger._

_"OH! It will come in good time young one. Now get out of my realm please," the wish pixie snapped her fingers._

Seras woke up; she wiped the sweat of her brow. She had to check on her Master! If her dream was true, Alucard would certainly be a tiny bit confused. The young vampire opened the heavy steel door and ran down the stone hallway. Then she heard shrieking coming from the dungeon.

"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELLS!"

Victoria gulped; her dream did come true or was it in her head? What she couldn't understand was… Why was it a female voice yelling that from the dungeon? Master is not a female! Nor a human! He simply dragged a woman into his cell, right? These thoughts and similar ones ran through her head. As she came closer to the door she came to the conclusion. She was just in the worst dream ever that seemed very real…

The Police Girl put her hand on the cold steel door. She clenched her teeth and shut her eye lids tight. Seras slowly turned the huge handle and pulled the door open. She was too scared to look at the sight before her. She heard soft foot steps coming closer to her, not her Master's usual rough, rhythmic steps. The footsteps stopped in front of her. It was soon followed by a few sniffles, sounded like a woman crying in front of her. Seras was having a panic attack in her mind. Mustering up all her courage she opened her eyes and looked down...

_

* * *

_

_Meanwhile in Walter's Workshop..._

Walter was at his desk, observing the blue prints in front of him. He was done all his duties for the night, so far. He thought it would be a bit relaxing to start working on Seras' new gun. She had never felt comfortable with her tall gun, so he figured a smaller one would be for the best. Walter was humming to his classical music that played in the background. His thoughts on the gun were interrupted by a faint "bloody hells!" Walter could barely hear it ring through the vents… Sounded like a woman screaming.

Walter scratched his head, "why on Earth would a woman call out in the Hellsing house… Unless it's Seras being bothered by Alucard again…" The butler shrugged, for once he wished he could sit and put his feet up.

Walter sighed, "Might as well go see what Miss Seras is cursing about…"

The old butler got up from his chair, a bit too fast… A loud thunderous crack was heard, as Walter felt his back snap. He flinched as he stumbled to the near by couch. For so long he was able to ignore his aging back, and the problems it caused. Still, doing his duties without a care and not stopping for one moments rest finally took its toll. Walter started to rub his back slowly... He was in great pain, and he'd rather be shot right now than lay on the couch. There were toilets to clean, Integra's tea and the morning paper to read! He couldn't stay still! Walter slowly got to his feet and bent forward. To avoid the mass pain he had to walk with his back at a ninety degree angle. He slowly got his feet moving, inch by inch.

"Oh! My aching back!" He cried out, like a normal old geezer would…

* * *

Seras was speechless, the sight was very... Different. A woman around five foot seven stood in front of her. She had long black hair with bangs covering a good portion of her face. Her eyes were a soft brown, and her face was covered with faint freckles. Seras recognized the orange sun glasses on the edge of her button nose. The clothes she was wearing were identical to Alucard's normal outfit. Too bad those clothes fit a vampire taller than this woman. The long red sleeves draped about a foot from her hands. The pants ends were pooled on the ground and the boot appeared huge on her feet. For the first time in her life, she saw what Alucard really looked like as a woman… It's not like she tried to picture it all the time but sometimes the thought crept up in her mind. Alucard's soft brown eyes were filled with tears, and had red bags underneath them from crying.

"What is wrong with me, Seras what's wrong with me!" Alucard cried out, grapping the police girl's collar and shaking her violently, "look at me! I'm a weakling human! Not even a man anymore! I'm _feeling_ emotions! This isn't right!" Alucard's voice went high pitched, as tears started streaming down his… erm her face.

"M-m-a-st-er! S-tt-tt-oo-o-pp sh-aa-k-k-ii-nn-g me!" Alucard released Seras from his grip.

"I can't even grip well anymore! I have a _girlish_ grip!" Alucard whined, not noticing that Seras was ready to smack her head on the wall, "I am just so overwhelmed! Is it right for humans to be like this sometimes? I haven't been human for over five hundred years!"

"It's normal for humans to experience lots of emotions… All the time…"

"You have to be kidding me! Look! My personality is changing by the minute! I don't want to be a worthless human…" Alucard whined. He took off a boot and flung it towards the wall behind Seras… It was only a couple of meters away… Still he didn't get the boot even remotely close to hitting the wall.

The No-Life-Queen continued to whine, "how can humans do anything! They're so weak and their emotions are trivial! Besides, the female body needs some adjustments!" Alucard pointed to the perky breasts on his chest, "these things need to be smaller, I'm loosing my balance just walking..."

Seras was lost for words. Alucard didn't seem to have changed one bit… Well, maybe he was a bit more whiney than usual. He was still going on about how humans were still the lesser race.

"Master, I was a female human for more than eighteen years... Don't complain, besides might do you some good…"

"Do me some good?" The female Alucard started to laugh, "this is just a bad nightmare... The mighty Alucard… A human!"

"Master, this is no dream… You're a female human… Are you going through denial?"

"Not yet… If this keeps up, I might... Go insane! I have this urge to give you a hug and tell you I love you…" Alucard paused, starting to sweat, "Is that normal?"

"Ah... Maybe for some teenage girls…" Seras sighed, just _great_!

"This will last only for a month… So I think you should just live with it."

"How do you know!"

"Some Pixie in my dream said you'd be a woman for a month… For only one month. I think the great Alucard could stay up for the _challenge_. Think of it Master, a lesson in empathy and a _challenge_. Just think of this as a _challenge_."

"A _challenge_... I think of it more as a _curse_… I'm a human… I'd rather be a dog; at least I have fangs that way and can bite people… What am I going to do with these?" Alucard put his right hand up, showing long finger nails, "claw a vampire to death?"

"You can put nail polish on them! And make them look pretty… Other than that there's not much to do with those nails..."

"Humans think looking pretty is a good thing? All it does is it gets vampires to drain their blood sooner than an ugly person's… What a lesser race…"

"Alucard and senior officer Victoria! Please report to my office immediately!" They heard Integra's voice over the intercom.

"We had an intercom down here this whole time? Why doesn't she use it when she wants us?" Seras asked, dumbfounded.

"Usually I can sense when she wants us… Too bad I'm a sissy woman..." Alucard mumbled to 'himself.'

"Before we get going, I think you need some new attire... You'll get a couple of stares wearing that…" Seras almost forgot about how her Master was too small for the clothing.

"What will I wear? Or I can just walk around naked? Wouldn't bother me anyway," Seras blushed at the thought, and shook the thought out her head. Alucard felt his fledgling take '_his_' hand. She dragged him to her room. She started digging through her clothes, until she pulled out a black jacket and a pair of sneakers.

"This will do for now," she handed Alucard the clothing, "just put the jacket on instead of that trench coat. Then put on the sneakers, that will be good for now…"

The No-Life-'_King_' carefully took off the trench coat, and kicked off his boots to the corner. Seras couldn't help it but stare in aw. She never saw him in anything other than his red coat. The Police Girl left the room, with her Master trailing behind her.

As they walked through the Hellsing Mansion, people couldn't help but stare, "is that a new female recruit? She looks awfully familiar he a way." These and similar whispers ran through the hallways. Seras sped up a bit to get away from all the attention.

They finally came to the double doors of Integra's office. Seras sighed and opened the door. Integra was sitting back in her chair with a cigar in her mouth. When she looked up, she didn't look all that pleased, "took you long enough."

"Sorry, Sir Integra!" Seras bowed to her, and quickly took a seat in front of the huge desk.

Integra looked at who was accompanying Seras… Her mouth slightly opened letting her cigar fall to the desk.

"Is this some sick joke? Why is Alucard a female? Explain yourself, damn it!"

Alucard grinned, while Seras thought of what to say next, "about that..."

"A pixie turned me into a human… Or something bazaar, like that… I woke up like this, Master."

Integra slowly got her hand to the phone… She dialed Walter's number with trembling fingers.

"Sir Integra?" Walter's voice calmed her nerves down a bit.

"Can you please come to my office? There's something you must see," Integra put down the phone and sat back. Seras was thinking, hard. While Alucard was sitting in a chair, grinning.

The door opened, Integra lifted an eye brow when she saw no one enter.

"Down here Sir Integra!" Walter said putting a hand up. Integra looked down to see her butler crawling on the ground, "I'm sorry, Sir Integra, I think I pulled a muscle in my back… What is it that you wish for me to see?" Walter looked to the side and saw a pair of nice legs.

"A new recruit?"

Integra put a cigar in her mouth, "that is Alucard as a woman, Walter…"

* * *

Indi: I hoped you enjoyed it!

RueNeko: Indi had a lot of grammar mistakes... Hehe... It's THREE dots, not two or five!

Indi: Meh! I like five dots...

RueNeko: -Hitting head on desk- No that's wrong! Three dots! Damn you! Three!

Indi: Until next chapter enjoy!

RueNeko: I say review! Review!

Integra: Damn them all to hell! Damn the river! Why don't I ever get to be the sexy female lead! Usually I have to compete with Seras! Now Alucard too! Damn you crazy author!

Indi: Your welcome LADY Integra.

Integra: I don't care for your petty talk. As soon as he is normal! I call Alucard!

RueNeko: -Loads gun- We'll see about it!

Indi: I call Walter! I mean... Young Walter!

Random Fanboy: I call Seras!

RueNeko: No! I do! She's going to clean my room O.O I need her! -pulls out sexy beating stick-

Alucard: -Cough- I'm standing here... Only Integra wants me. I thought everyone wanted me! Oh and the crazy girl.

Indi: -Beats Random Fanboy with Halberd- My talk space! MINE!

RueNeko: Yes! Iso get Seras!

Walter: -Grins- I have the author wanting me. Over you, Alucard!

Alucard: What ever! I get the crazy one and of course... All those crazy fan girls outside of this story. I have way more than you.

Walter: Only if I was young in the series! Than I would show you!

Indi: Getting too long! Until chapter three.. Amen!

RueNeko: What's that saying?


	3. Chapter 3

I'm updating after more than a week... I have work all the time and being addicted to World of Warcraft isn't helping! Yes I shall write to the end… I have so many ideas what Alucard should go through just to be evil! Nice picture of girly Alucard, DeusHelios... Trust me! Integra is going to have fun, even Victoria! Thank you for all those reviews! I have over six hundred hits on this story… Wow… Ok here's chapter three, the title says it all!

Chapter Three- Alucard plays maid!

Walter painfully examined the female Alucard and shook his head. "It seems the day keeps getting odder doesn't it? Just a couple of hours ago I managed to put my back out, by relaxing. I've been crawling to your office ever since, painfully and slowly, I may add."

"Walter, why aren't you relaxing than. If you're injured we don't want it to become any worse. Relax for once," Integra adjusted her cigar to the other side of her mouth.

"Sir Integra, I can't sit still. I simply have too many things to attend to. If that's all you need of me, I'll leave and go back to my duties," Walter slowly turned and was about to crawl out.

"Walter! I order you to take a vacation and relax! Damn it you old stubborn man! Take a break! It's been over forty years since you've had one."

Alucard and Seras didn't say a word. They only smiled funny for they had nothing to say. Walter stopped, "that is not the wisest order. I'll turn it down as it is irrelevant. I have to clean the main bathroom now."

Integra sighed, she picked up the phone. She quickly dialed the number for head security.

"Yes, Sir Integra?" Pip's voice said over the phone.

"Code 'R'. I repeat Code 'R'!" Integra said with a stern voice.

"You mean the code 'R'! I'll have to get some back up! We'll be there in a few minutes!" The phone was hung up.

Integra sat back in her chair and lit a new cigar, "Walter while you're here and on the floor. Can you get those dust bunnies from under the desk and the book selves."

"Finally you see things my way for once Sir. I'll continue my duties no matter what!" Walter slowly went to the other side of the room. For his cleaning mission was to… DESTROY AND ELIMINATE ALL DUST BUNNIES!

Seras was staring at Integra, who was returning the stare. Alucard was sitting in the chair trying to lift the Jackal that he had dropped on the ground. It seemed so light to him before! Now he was struggling in his new female form. Integra got a pen and started to scribble on pad of paper in front of her. She slowly wrote out words with nice pictures to accompany them. Tapping her pen against the desk, she tried to get the Police girl's attention. Who was staring at the many portraits in the massive room.

"Victoria!" Integra muttered under her breath. The young vampire turned her attention on the blonde.

Integra proudly lifted the picture up so Seras could see it. Some words were on the paper, saying "Code R' is short for relax! We had this as an emergency code ever since Walter turned into an official senior. Since he won't go on vacation without force this is how we'll get him too!" The blonde leader of Hellsing put her finger below a stick figure of Walter with little 'zzzzz' above its head. Meaning if he was tired, he had to relax. The next picture was of stick Walter beating the word 'relax' with a stick. Integra ran her finger to the next picture. A bunch of people who were green were around Stick Walter. Stick Walter had a sweat drop as he was in a straight jacket. The next picture was of stick Walter in a truck… The arrows were pointing to Canada. Integra flipped the paper and a picture was there. All the main Hellsing members and officers were all holding hands with huge smiley faces and a huge green meadow with flowers to complete the scene. Of course they were all stick people. Seras was a bit shock to see the woman of steel draw something like that… Then the blonde pointed to a little note on the bottom. "All drawings done by Annie Louise Hellsing, my youngest cousin."

"That explains a lot..." Victoria thought to herself.

Integra sat back in her chair as she waited. Her blue eyes gazed over to Alucard. She was busy looking at her fingers and hands in awe. Seras also looked over and wanted to smack herself. He was still in shock... Alucard was still trying to figure out why he was put into a female body... He kept staring at his feminine hands in hope that they would turn back into his manly hands.

While cleaning the dust bunnies, Walter would give out sounds of pain. Integra took her eyes off Alucard and looked at the clock. She started to tap the desk with her gloved hands. The Hellsing leader switched her cigar from side to side, waiting for Pip and the team to come... Seconds felt like minutes for Integra and Seras. Alucard was still staring at his hand...

Half an hour went by until Pip and the special squad came... Integra shot Pip a dirty look, he gulped. "Where were you?" Integra said dryly.

Pip adjusted his collar and gulped again, "Sir Integra, it was all Jhon's fault!" Pip pointed a shaking finger at a Hellsing officer, whose attention was on something else in his hands, "he was in charge of the straight jacket! He misplaced it, or wouldn't tell us where he put it!"

Jhon looked up, "what'd I miss? I told you it's in my Gameboy carrying case! Besides why is it my fault? I was just trying to level my Pikachu to level twenty six!"

"Who cares about your Pikachu!" Pip yelled at his fellow officer.

Jhon sighed, "at least I don't stare at a certain female officer… And make some comments about Integra's body." Jhon whined back in the defense of his Pikachu.

"Damn those blubbering idiots!" She muttered to herself, taking her cigar from her mouth and placed it on the ash tray, "we don't have the time to play around. Put that Gamegirl down and let's get operation 'R' over with!

"It's a Gameboy, not a Gamegirl!" Jhon whined. Integra gave him a glare that sent a shiver up his spine. Without questioning Integra anymore, he placed the Gameboy on the ground. He brought out a straight jacket from the massive backpack on his back.

Pip snatched the jacket and crept up to Walter who was on his knees still. Pip signalled the rest of the team to creep up along with him. Two officers came beside Walter on opposite sides.

"Walter!" Integra called out in a sharp tone.

"Yes Sir Hellsing?" Walter said, while slowly getting up, in pain, and facing the blonde.

"It's vacation time!" Integra grinned. Walter looked shocked at Integra as if she just betrayed him. The two officers grabbed both of Walter's arms to stop the butler from drawing out his deadly string.

"Sir Hellsing, what is the meaning of this!" Walter was trying to break the two officers' grip but he yelped in pain as he felt his back crack, "let me go, I can still be the butler."

"Walter, you have to have a vacation soon. This is a better time than any. You can relax for once, and we'll keep the manor cleaned. We do have a good replacement for you," Integra quickly glanced at Alucard then her attention was on the butler, "Pip get the jacket on, his flight leaves in less than an hour."

"I'm trying my best, Sir!" Pip was having a hard time putting the jacket on with Walter wiggling around, "this old man isn't going to give!"

Integra sighed, "you put the cloth to his nose, then you put it on... Idiot!"

Pip forgot about the cloth covered in chloroform that was on his belt. He took it and placed it on Walter's face. The butler soon fainted into the hands of the Hellsing officers holding him. It was easy to slip the jacket onto the old man. "Now take him to his flight… One of you has to go with him… Now go!" The men saluted and carried Walter out of the room.

Seras was speechless after witnessing what just took place. It wasn't everyday you saw something _that_ bazaar. Then again, she was a part of Hellsing which was bazaar enough for any average person, "Sir Integra, who is going to clean the Manor in Walter's place?"

Integra took a cigar from her draw and lit it. She inhaled the heavy smoke then exhaled it, "with Alucard a female human, I just lost my main vampire hunter. With Walter injured and on leave, I lost my substitute... That leaves you with being our main trash man… Woman. So be prepared to be on call anytime. If Alucard is going to get a good lesson in empathy, then he's going to replace Walter."

Alucard looked up with some fear in his eyes, "me… Be Walter's replacement! I can't clean! I can't make weapons! Let me hunt vampires! I can kill them easily! Give me my Jackal!"

"Sorry Alucard, but you can't handle the Jackal in your current state. No human can stand straight after firing it. Don't worry, I will have both of your guns placed in the Hellsing vault. Letting you go Vampire hunting is out of the question, for your own safety. Delay any longer and I'll see to it personally you'll be fitted into a maid's outfit to suit your position!" Integra turned her chair around. "Seras help him clean also until you're called. You probably have more experience than him."

"Yes, Sir Hellsing!" Seras saluted. The female officer grabbed Alucard's now slender hands, "come, Master, let's go before you have to wear a maid outfit. Those things are awfully small to work in..."

Alucard wouldn't budge. No Jackal! No gun! No killing! No blood! No Jackal? NO JACKAL! These thoughts ran through his mind. This is going to be total hell!

Seras sighed as she picked up Alucard, bridal style, into her arms and ran out of the room. Integra chuckled when she pictured Alucard in a maid's outfit.

* * *

Seras was first going to teach Alucard about how to use the cleaning products for the main bathroom. "Ok, Master, this is what Grime-Away is for…" Seras put the liquid onto the sponge and started to scrubbed the bathtub, "this is for the mirrors!" The female vampire held up a bottle of Hindex, the cheap rip off of the States Windex. She sprayed it on the mirror and wiped it off with a bunch of paper towels. "I think I explained all these products… I'm going to do some training with the troops now, bye Master."

As soon as the vampire left, Alucard sat on the mat, looking at some twenty cleaning products. She looked over to the toilet, "seems clean..." Alucard muttered to herself, "he was retired to do this kind of work? Wow... I will never retire!"

Alucard opened the bottle or Mrs. Clean and took a whiff of its lemony smell, "this smells, good…" Alucard kept smelling the lemony cleaner.

"MASTER!" Seras screamed, as she saw Alucard on the floor. His eyes were blood shot, and there was cleaner all over the floor.

The female human slowly sat up, "what? Did I pass out?"

"What were you doing?" Seras asked with some concern.

"I just opened the bottle and smelled lemons! Such a nice lemony smell too, it was... Does that come in that stuff you wear on your skin? What was that again?" Aluacrd asked.

"Master, that's perfume… Let's get you out of here before you pass out again…" Seras picked up the dazed Alucard and took 'her' to Integra's bedroom.

* * *

Alucard looked around the massive bedroom, "it seems clean to me... Why are you humans forcing me to do petty work? It's not that bad! I've slept in a blood soaked coffin for two hundred years of my life, I consider that clean!" The human whined.

"Master, it's not clean though! I'll do the bathroom... I can't trust you around cleaners... Here take this to dust off the surfaces around the room..." Seras handed her master a dust covered duster. "Also make the bed, I believe you know how to make one! I have to get the bathroom cleaned before sunrise!" The female vampire ran out of the room, leaving the confused human by 'herself'.

"Humans are the weirdest and stupidest race of them all... Complaining of a bed not made and some specs of dust..." She mumbled to herself. Alucard made 'her' way to the bed. 'She' stood there for a while, staring at it. Maybe the bed would make itself if Alucard stared at it long enough.

"I can't even summon my familiars to do the work for me! What's the point of making the bed? It just gets made messy again… I know! I'll just rip off all the sheets and throw them in a pile on the floor!" Alucard carried out his 'brilliant' plan, and ripped off all the covers. Leaving them in a heap on the floor, he felt quite proud of himself.

Taking the duster in his hand, Alucard walked towards the massive closet. She opened both of the oak doors, to reveal Integra's whole wardrobe. On the right of the massive closet were olive-green suits as far as the eye could see. One the far end where shelves and shelves of brown shoes. On the left side were army suits of different colours towards the end. At the front were a couple of men trench coats that were either green or black. Alucard remembered how he would bother Integra about wearing the same thing over and over again. She'd always say 'look who's talking' right back at him. Now one thought came to his mind...

'Do I have to change clothes everyday now? Manually!' Alucard thought. He knew Humans changed their clothes everyday, and had to do it themselves, not generate what ever look they wanted to. Besides he'd have to get a new wardrobe to go with his new body… 'This is the worst curse… Making me, a human! Human... She could at least wished for me to be a dog...' Alucard sighed.

He went out of the closet, his eyes had seen enough olive green for an immortal life time. Taking the duster in a tighter grip he walked over to the bookcase on the right wall. Alucard brought his arm up and took the duster across the books. A cloud of dust flew up into his face. 'Her' eyes began to water, with a desire to itch them also. Alucard felt her nose tickle.

"ACHOOO!" Alucard sneezed, "achoo! Achoo!" She started to walk across the room sneezing violently.

Alucard felt the tears roll down his cheeks, then the door opened. Seras entered the room looking at Alucard in puzzlement, "Master, are you allergic to dust?"

"ACHOO! Allergies? What are those?"

"I'll explain them to you later, right now we should get out of here… Sir Integra is heading to bed right now…"

A half asleep Integra walked into her room, she looked lazily at Seras and Alucard, "didn't I tell you to clean? Report to my office first thing tomorrow night… We'll discuss in more detail what areas to clean... Don't worry about cleaning anymore… I've seen the mess you two made in the bathroom, just go get some sleep…" Integra collapsed on her bed, as the two woman in her room left quietly.

"My first night as a human and you people make me do work... It's not like I'm some useless human!" Alucard blurted out. Seras tried to ignore her master's comment. All night she was complaining. This would be an interesting month for the Hellsing organization. Alucard gripped her stomach as it growled in hunger, "what was that?"

"That, Master, is your stomach wanting food..."

"You mean I have to eat? But I haven't lifted a fork in more than four hundred years!"

_

* * *

_

_Meanwhile in a harbor in England_

"This crate is small, but heavy as hell!" The dock worker moaned as he carried the crate onto the ship.

"Remember, that's first class cargo, nothing should happen to it! Just handle it more careful than others ok?" Pip told the dock worker.

"Geesh! You sure want this treated nicely for cargo. It's like there's a living human being in there or something..." The worker carried on towards the ship.

"Brian, tell Sir Integra that Walter is going first class all the way to Canada... I'll be joining him soon on the plane... Come on Jhon, let's go!" Pip grabbed Jhon's collar and dragged him towards the jeep.

"Can't you just hold on for a second! I'm doing battle with one of the elite four!"

* * *

Indi: Alucard in a maid's outfit! That's going to be fun to write about next chapter!

RueNeko: You're just evil! Poor Alu-chan!

Alucard: Who's idea was it to turn me into a girl! It's one of you two! Who made it so I can't wield my precious Jackal anymore!

Indi: -Gulp- He did it! He! It was all Pip's idea! All his!

Pip: Monster! AHH! -Runs away screaming like a little girl-

Alucard: Come back here! -Runs after Pip-

RueNeko: Never knew Pip screamed like a little school girl...

Indi: Me either... Until next chapter enjoy


End file.
